Boston, MA — In an unprecedented and bizarre twist in baseball history, Red Sox Nation — the famously passionate fanbase of the Boston Red Sox — has declared independence from the United States, announcing its intent to form a sovereign baseball state.
The announcement came during a surreal press conference held outside Fenway Park, where thousands of fans — some wearing colonial-era tricorne hats and others in full Red Sox regalia — gathered around a makeshift podium beneath the Green Monster. Amid chants of “In Tito We Trust” and “Sovereignty for Sweet Caroline,” fan leader and self-proclaimed Prime Minister Sully O’Malley stood before the crowd, waving a flag bearing a flaming baseball and the Latin phrase “Per Game, Per Nation.”
“This isn’t just about baseball,” O’Malley declared. “This is about freedom. About passion. About declaring that Red Sox Nation is no longer just a metaphor — it’s a nation in every sense of the word.”
The newly formed “Republic of Red Sox Nation” claims all Red Sox fans worldwide as honorary citizens and has drafted its own constitution, which includes ten founding articles. Among them are mandatory viewing of all 162 games, required knowledge of the 2004 ALCS comeback, and strict prohibition of any Yankees merchandise within national borders.
Other proposed elements of the nation include:
Capital: Fenway Park, with seating sections renamed as government ministries. The right-field bleachers now serve as the Ministry of Energy (because of the crowd’s “electric vibes”).
National Anthem: “Sweet Caroline,” with fans required to shout “So good! So good! So good!” with proper enthusiasm.
Currency: The “Fenway Frank,” pegged to the cost of a hot dog and beer at the stadium.
National Holidays: October 27 (2004 World Series win) and “Big Papi Day,” honoring David Ortiz, who has reportedly been offered the role of ceremonial president.
Commissioner Rob Manfred addressed the situation with a mixture of concern and amusement.
“While Major League Baseball does not recognize any fanbase as a sovereign government,” Manfred said during a press conference, “we appreciate the creativity and loyalty of Red Sox supporters. That said, they’ll still have to pay for parking.”
Reactions around the league have been colorful. Yankees fans mocked the move on social media with memes featuring a British-style Red Sox surrender, while Dodgers fans jokingly threatened to form their own breakaway republic. Meanwhile, several Mets fans expressed envy, saying, “We wish we loved anything that much.”
The White House issued a lighthearted response, with President Biden tweeting, “If Red Sox Nation is seceding, I hope they’ll still let me throw the first pitch. Go Sox!”
At Fenway, the mood remains celebratory. Makeshift passports are already being printed, street vendors are selling “Red Sox Visa” hats, and immigration checkpoints (i.e., ticket booths) have popped up around the ballpark.
For now, Red Sox Nation continues to exist in a spirited blur of sports, satire, and genuine civic pride. Whether their bid for independence is recognized or not, one thing is clear: no fanbase loves their team more fiercely.
